Dulce Zamora.life

I am taking a social media break to focus on writing and life stuff. I’ll continue to update my blog so some of my writing will still be out there for now. Thank you and happy, happy autumn. It is my most favorite season wherever I am.

On our way to school, the girls and I stopped to take in the magic. Usually, this of kind of autumn scene is associated with New England around October. However, I snapped this pic on our street in Alameda, California in December 2015.

To me, this shows that beauty exists in a lot of places and at different times. I try to remind myself of this when I compare the way I look now to images of my younger self. Yes, my skin had fewer wrinkles, but it didn’t yet have the iridescence that I have cultivated under my skin over the years.

Did you know that I recently looked at my 2015 photos and marveled at how youthful I looked then even though at the time I hated looking in the mirror because I felt so old? (We had just repatriated from to America from Asia so I was doubly exhausted. Yes, we returned to Asia 3 years later.)

This race toward youth is a losing one because the years keep moving forward no matter what we do. It doesn’t mean we don’t take care of ourselves. In fact, the older I get, the more I recognize the need for self care. Staying healthy and caring for our appearance is not vain. It is necessary for our survival, especially for women, as we tend to command more respect and attention when we radiate beauty, inside or out.

After all, the autumn leaves didn’t turn heads simply because they fell off the tree. The attractive hues and their sheer volume caught our attention. That’s how I think of myself and of women as a whole. We’re not done just because we are past some societal definition of prime. We’ve still got so much luster to share, and, together, we can create magic.

Not pretty enough? Not smart enough? Not fit enough? Imposter Syndrome is a nasty villain that can ruin our fun and suck the life out of our hopes and dreams. In my latest AWA Magazine column, I looked into the common condition and explored ways we can beat it. We can become our own hero and work on feeling like we are GOOD ENOUGH.



P.S. Does this piece sound familiar? It is an update of a popular story on my award-winning blog Windsweptwildflower.com

Unpacking the Imposter Syndrome Feeling intimidated or inadequate? You are not alone. Even successful people feel that way. Imposter Syndrome is a common phenomenon.

You matter.

That’s how my friend Mel made me feel. The effect of his words and actions on my life and on the lives of others has been extraordinary.

When we matter to others, we experience greater self-esteem and self-compassion, and we enjoy better relationships too, according to research.

But this story isn’t about the research. That can easily be Googled. This is a tribute to someone who showed people that they matter, and that has made all the difference.

Link to story in comments.

We’ve been hearing a lot that loneliness is a big problem around the world. I know a little about that. I’ve moved many times, often to places where I’ve known no one or hardly anyone at all.

When my husband and I first moved to Singapore, I was pregnant with our first child and was initially on bed rest. I was feeling pretty lonely by the time I attended my first American Women’s Association Welcome Fair. It was nice to connect with other women with similar interests.

Today, when I helped cover the tables for the Writers and Magazine groups at the AWA Welcome Fair, I felt a sense of kinship with the women from around the world who stopped by. Some of them were brand new to Singapore while others had been here for years.

A side note: This week, my oldest daughter is also presiding over her own tables at the high school clubs fair, trying to convince fellow students to join their clubs.

Just goes to show, no matter how old we are and no matter how long we’ve been somewhere, we all seek connection. There’s no shame in feeling lonely. It doesn’t make us a loser. In fact, if we do something about it, we have a chance to be our own champions.

As the U.S. Surgeon General has said, “loneliness is like hunger and thirst… it’s a natural signal our body sends us when we’re lacking something we need for survival – in this case social connection.”

So, if we’re feeling lonely, it’s okay. We know what we need to do. It’s not easy, but there are people out there just like us. They want to connect, too.

Distance from family is one of the hardest things about being an expat. Every summer we prioritize a family trip so we can focus on being together outside of our busy lives. We bottle up the goodness that comes from our concentrated time together and make it last the whole year even as we miss each others’ birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and important milestones.

This year, everyone came to our home in Singapore, making it extra special. Through the years, there were so many times I wished we could share part of our world with family. We got to do so for a short, crazy, and chaotic time (as it happened at the beginning of the school year). No matter, it filled our cups all the same. Now they are brimming! Until next year. ❤️

Thanks to my sibs for some of the photos!

The ever-changing canvas of the Gulf of Thailand. Same beach. Different days. And there were seascape vibes I failed to capture because I was mesmerized by the dark clouds or the pinks, purples, and golds of the sunset.

Kind of like people and phases of life. Beauty at different stages.

Good morning, Koh Samui.

My dad told the grandkids about the grocery store that he and my mom used to own in the Philippines. It’s where the Heavenly Spa is now + part of the school behind them. That store provided the seed money for us to start a new life in the United States. Without it, it’s hard to say how these kids could exist as my siblings and I met all of our spouses in the U.S.

It feels meaningful for the new generation to know about this. The store provided startup funds, but the first few years in a new country was challenging. Our family could not afford much. My mom shared how her coworkers used to get Popeyes fast food for lunch, and the chicken smelled so good. But, she and my dad could not afford to buy lunch for themselves. In the mornings, they each ate a peanut butter sandwich and that would get them through the day. My siblings and I got free lunch at school.

Now, the grandkids don’t eat a lot of fast food meals for health reasons. That is a real privilege considering where we came from. Thanks to my mom and dad for their sacrifices, we now have more choices, and that is heavenly.

I found this photo of me in one of my relative’s houses in the Philippines. I was 25 years old, aspiring to be somebody, wanting to make my mark in life. A few decades later, I’m still a work in progress. It’s not that I’ve been dissatisfied with life. Rather, I’ve constantly reinvented myself with changing circumstances and times.

A writer friend of mine recently rebranded herself as a content strategist. It’s a smart move. Instead of whining about becoming obsolete, she’s painting herself in the new landscape. That’s what I try to do, too.

So, instead of pining for the old days when I looked younger, I am showing up as I am, grateful for the past and present, and working for the future.

Our family heritage tour has become a crash course in Philippine history. Earlier this summer, when my daughter and I were visiting American historical sites, we saw monuments to the people we learned about in class. At the historical sites in Pampanga province, we have been encountering the ghosts of people we know.

For example, this 134-year-old official heritage house has a very looong history. In some of its lives, it was home to many Philippine and American historical figures, including two Philippine presidents (Aguinaldo and Quezon), General Douglas MacArthur, and several revolutionaries . It was also owned by one of our relatives (my grandmother’s uncle), some of whose descendants we saw in New York a few weeks ago. So, we made ourselves at home, playing games and cooling off in the only room with a fan.

It’s definitely a cool connection, and there are many others, but beyond being starstruck, I see we are just scratching the surface of our family’s deep roots in the motherland.

My family and I are on a heritage tour of the Philippines. My husband, then-preschoolers, and I had the chance to do this with my parents in 2013. Eleven years later, our family has grown. My teenage daughters see things in a different light and can now share the experience with their younger cousins. It’s been educational for us adults too. I am fascinated by the way the place has evolved over time, dramatically reshaped by world events and natural disasters.

The church where my parents got married was overflowing with people in 2013. Today, it’s a construction site filled with bats. The church suffered extensive damage from the 6.1-magnitude earthquake that rocked Central Luzon in 2019. Gone are all the market stalls that used to serve yummy local snacks outside the church,

Today, a couple of undergraduates gave us a tour of Holy Angel University, where both my parents went to school. I had a chance to ask these undergrads some questions as I was fresh off a tour of U.S.colleges with my rising senior. I asked these undergrads: What are you studying? What do you think of the town around the school? What’s the dating life like? (They got a kick out of that one. I don’t always ask this question in tours!.) And, how has social media affected life here? If there is one thing that I’ve learned from college and heritage tours, it’s that people like to share, and when comfortable and given the opportunity, they will offer some interesting tidbits that can’t be found in official sources.

It’s only day one and we’ve already learned a lot. I promise I will write a blog post or two about our heritage tour. Give me a couple of weeks as we travel. Meantime, I’ll share a little here and there. Stay tuned! ❤️

Summer time is family time. ❤️

Twenty-five years ago this week, I moved to New York and my life has never ever been the same.

Let’s talk about work wives. They’re part of our village. They round out our lives, making us better people in general. We know each others’ friends and families. We share memories, hobbies. and an inside language that seeps into everyday life. We can talk shop or we can shop. We can remember when we were young and we can talk about the young people.

For Erin and me, the startup we worked for may have tanked, but, even through different jobs and life phases, we’ve remained ever close, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health (beware, we are medical writers! 😂) until death do us part. ☺️ ❤️

Thank you, Erin, for being a fierce forever work wife, and for welcoming me into your lovely New England home full of warm sayings. Thanks, Nick, for sharing your wife, and thanks, Vince, for sharing your mom! Now, if we can only arrange a meetup with Jen, our other work wife, it will be perfect!

As my oldest daughter and I toured universities, I reconnected with 3 college friends. Cha was the first person I met at Cal. This summer, she went to my Books Inc. reading in Alameda and then we chatted the night away talking about grief and joy. Even with all of her challenges, she is a light in the plethora of communities that she serves.

A week later, I caught up with Ben in Washington, DC, where we met 30 years ago as part of a Filipino contingent rallying for equity and positive change in education. One afternoon wasn’t enough, so we met again for breakfast to continue our conversation. I’m awed by all the important work that Ben has done to serve the Asian American community.

Last, but not the least, I visited Bernadette at her Massachusetts home. As soon as I walked in the door, she handed me an Aperol Spritz and prepared a proper New England lobster feast. Not only that, we stayed up all night talking. There are girlfriends who never stop being in your corner regardless of time and distance. And she hasn’t stopped being awesome, too: Bernadette has done amazing work as a teacher, an office administrator, an international medical mission volunteer, and a mother. Wow, how does she do it?

Reconnecting with my Cal friends made me realize that we all grew up to be changemakers in our own way. This gives me hope. There is so much to be down about in the world. Knowing that there are people out there who work hard to make a positive difference counters against all the negativity. Good people doing good work do exist.

Washington, DC is a different animal at night. Peaceful. Elegant. Dare I say romantic? Couples walk the length of the Mall, taking selfies along the way. Joggers huff and puff, unbothered between tree lines. Strollers — like my daughter and me — have space to roam while watching a family of ducks gliding across the Reflection Pool. Fireflies dodge sprinklers in the grass. A quartet sings the national anthem a capella as we climb the 87 steps (four score and seven steps) up the Lincoln Memorial.

Sometimes it is fun to go with the crowd. Sometimes, we find beauty in solitude.

They say the days are long, but the years short. They say children are only loaned to us for limited time. They say parents spend 90% of their lifetime allotment with kids before age 18. They — whoever “they” are — say a lot of things. All I know is that this mother-daughter college-touring roadtrip through the East Coast was precious and I couldn’t get enough.